Shareable: Think twice before you speak, because your words and influence will plant the seed of either success or failure in the mind of another. Napolean Hill
The more we operate from the drama triangle within our internal framework, the more we experience this in our external relationships; with our team members, vendors, colleagues and family members. As well, this dynamic can play out in business deals, and in our ability to make a profit.
The more we operate from this dynamic, the less aware we become and the worse we tend to feel often leaving devastation in our wake.
It’s been scientifically proven that our thoughts are electric and our feelings are magnetic thereby creating a field of information that is measurable and perceivable by others. Add to this the attraction factor of this vibe. Yes, like attracts like. The more we stay frustrated or overwhelmed, the more intense that field of information becomes and the more detrimental the impact on ourselves and others.
We now know that within 10 feet of another person that we are capable of picking up information about that other person. I’d bet you’ve had an experience where upon first meeting someone and before either party spoke a word, you sensed the vibe of the other person. And they sensed yours too. First impressions can be difficult to change and sometimes we don’t get a second chance.
As leaders, there is great opportunity to powerfully and profoundly influence our organizations by consciously showing up in a way that inspires and elevates others.
We refer to this practice as leadership presence under the Courageous Leadership Platform in my coaching and consulting practice.
To develop leadership presence, we use The Empowerment Circle as a tool to shift from the entanglement of the Drama Triangle into relating from a place of empowerment and greater confidence.
According to Carol Kinsey Goman in a Forbes article, leadership presence, that illusive but “we know it when we see it” quality, is a blending of personal and interpersonal skills that when combined, send all the right signals. It’s how you show up, how you make others feel, and how effectively you communicate both verbally and non-verbally. It’s the “wow” factor that sets you up for the next promotion and gives your career that extra boost.
You can’t give what you don’t have
In my coaching and consulting practice, we refer to leadership presence as the ability to consciously show up in a way where we are masters of our own energy. Where because we are so saturated in feeling good that it naturally overflows to others. This takes courage and practice because it requires withdrawing from the drama triangle, yet ultimately requires less effort because we simply choose to feel good more of the time and that’s contagious.
I recently watched the ESPN series, The Last Dance, that follows Michael Jordon’s rise with the Chicago Bulls. He’s a great example of leadership presence. When others were giving up, he chose to focus on what felt good to him, the game, not the drama.
When we do this, we experience an inner freedom; life and business remarkably become much easier and more enjoyable. Experiment with it and I’d love to hear about your experience.
